I’ve been spending a lot of the past couple weeks either busy or recovering from being busy, which hasn’t been great for productivity other than getting to play more video games than usual. In this short piece, I will slap a band-aid over this bursting dam of a problem by making short, snarky comments about several games I’ve been putting off writing about.
Transformers: Animated (NDS) There really isn’t a lot to say about this one other than it being kind of a rip after the surprisingly good movie game (By which I of course mean, the movie game ON DS, as the console game was rapaciously awful.) It’s like a pointier, shinier version of The Lost Vikings, sandwiched with awkward, piss-stained driving segments between stages, and with only Megatron as a boss battle in spite of cameos by other Decepticons. I guess they were on break.
Persona 3: FES (PS2) Actually I have a half-finished draft of a feature on this one. If anyone else out there’s played it (and you probably have by now) you probably understand what a time sink it is. Part dungeon crawler, part dating sim, part faintly Gothy Pokemon with recruitable ancient gods. Very cool. FES is the special edition where you can date a robot, then participate in an extended epilogue/piece of fan fiction.
Persona 4 (PS2 as well)- See Persona 3, then oversaturate like hell and tint yellow +50%. Same basic setup, but the dungeons aren’t randomized anymore, the characters are less engraved in stereotypes, and the plot is much less interesting. If you were a Vulcan, you’d find this to be the better game, logically, while your friend in the toupee sleeps around with the Emo Kid’s harem in P3.
MadWorld(Wii)- Has replaced Gungrave as my chief ‘stress relief’ game as you go around murdilatin’ guys with a chainsaw on your arm, and whatever else is lying around. It’s like No More Heroes without the sucky parts.
Wii Sports Boxing(Xbox360)- Secondary stress reliever because it really feels like you’re beating the fuck out of other people’s Mii likenesses.
Zone of the Enders(PS2)- I could really play this when I’m half asleep, but that usually puts me the rest of the way to sleep. It’s like Bizarro MGS- the combat is addicting, fun, and easy to do, but the plot sucks Evangelions through a scat flavored straw. Also, it’s really hilarious hearing everyone’s old reviews on a PS2 launch title today, as the graphics and cutscenes are gushed over like there was nowhere else to go but downward for mankind. Also it came with the demo for some game I forget the name of. Maybe it’s the same game they demoed with Brave Fencer Musashi.
R-Type: Command- Turn based strategy action in the R-Type universe!?! Maybe we can expand upon the plot of Ship Moves Slowly To The Right While Things Shoot At It. In a way, they do. Now it’s Several Ships Move Even More Slowly To The Right. Turn limits+slow units+obscenely long loading times before unecessary cut scenes= dear god i’m glad this wasn’t full price. On the other hand, when you manage to charge up a Beam weapon and fire it off, it’s very rewarding.
I’m going to continue taking it easy today and enjoy my nice new TV set before resuming arting this evening until I die, because I’m so… behind… so obscenely.. behind… A bloo bloo bloo.
