Nintendo: The Family Company.

Isn’t it great that in this day and age, Nintendo systems can download hardcore pornography from the Internet more or less straight out of the box (well, with a download of the browser software.) If this was the 80’s Nintendo, they’d probably cover the naughty bits with the ‘bling’ sparklies from the DSi Graffiti menu.

I just finished MadWorld- and so should you! But this ties in with my thinking about ‘old nintendo,’ in that as violent as it is, the thing is it’s all presented in such an over the top, cartoony way that if MadWorld were say, an old 2-D sidescroller, people wouldnt have probably batted an eye. Course, at that resolution, all the blood and gore would probably amount to three or four red pixels flying from chainsawed enemies.

We need more games like this, seriously. It’s a high-score encouraging, largely free roaming, arcade style beat em up. And even if the “LOOKIT ME, I’M FRANK MIRRA” veneer the producers put on it is all that people walk away from the adverts with, it’s good we got at least one more game of this kind on a non portable system, and on the Wii to boot! It even manages to use waggle controls in a not completely awful way that complements the existing, pretty basic controls. Mash A to rough a guy up. Hold A down and you grab them. Swing the Wiimote while you have em in a choke-hold, and you throw them a good distance away for crowd control’s sake. Swing up for an uppercut to launch enemies. Press the B trigger and swing to unleash your arm mounted chainsaw. Sometimes the Power Struggle quick-time events are a little annoying, but when you pass one it almost always results in a pleasingly messy finish. You tear a Nazi’s arms off and beat him with them, for crying out loud! All the while dark, gritty hip hop..ish music about how crazy and kickass YOU are plays. I’m not really quite sure what to call Japanese produced rap tunes that sound like they were done by white people, but all the names I come up with sound pretty racist.

So I posit we call the Persona 3 and Madworld soundtracks ‘Nip-Hop.’

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. Nintendo Wii has porn, cussing, and gruesome chainsaw murder. That makes up for a library of almost nothing but liscensed shovelware and bland, gimmicky family games, right? RIGHT?!  Actually, MadWorld and Virtual Console have pretty much justified the Wii purchase for me. More than Brawl, anyway.

Author: 3/2

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