3/2 - I dreamt I was a furry.
 

Chrono Cross

     After Serge-possessed Lynx has an odd, irrelevant encounter with Lynx-possessed Serge, gets the magic sword Einlanzer, apparently loses it and the Masamune, he stumbles upon a ruined city frozen in time itself. Lynx and pals then go exploring, being taunted at every turn by the characters from Chrono Trigger. Finally catching up with them at some place that looks way too much like Leene's Bell but probably isn't, they meet Miguel. Miguel is a scrawny man in a pith helmet who isn't Serge's father, but did know him, fulfilling the prerequisite need for a mysterious character from the past who delivers a shocking revelation. Unfortunately, his revelation isn't so much shocking or revealing, as he mostly banters about FATE and how nice it is to be in the Dead Sea where he never ages or changes his clothes. He challenges Lynx and his motile luggage/ friends to an INCREDIBLY cheap fight in which he uses the Schwartz (yes, as seen in Space Balls) to cut you down in like one shot. Survive this more or less by trial and error, and his death causes some sort of time-hiccup that sort of annihalates half the world. A dragon saves them and says some cryptic things. Even though it isn't even vaguely implied, your next step will be to go back to the beach where Serge started this whole damn confusing mess, and use the amulet to hop back to that other reality.

     There's a little side story in which the heroes storm Viper Manor again as they seem to do every week, excluding new game + and any Viper Manor-storming alternate universes not depicted in the mess. By wandering around and beating things up as per usual, you'll earn the trust of about a half-dozen more characters. Which means more meat in your rapidly-expanding army. At some point, someone kind of hints that you should go to the Dead Sea again in the dimension you didn't go to it in. Since you sort of have the Einlanzer, it shouldn't be a problem, right? Wrong. Now you have to earn the dragon's permission, which, in the fine tradition of Gwaelyn's Love, is a physical object. You'll spend a few more hours visiting the same six islands over and over, in both worlds, after doing certain tasks. I think they purposely rigged it so you must complete all the subquests in the game to advance beyond this point. Of note, is the subquest that force-feeds reveals the origins of Nikki, Captain Fargo, Marcy, and some other characters who are introduced in the subquest so that their origins could be revealed. Fargo convinces greedy-ass gambler Fargo to do something, which brings him to terms with Nikki, who takes his transforming boat/stage to the island his mother came from and plays out an incredibly long scene that leaves the player begging for more [medication.] After defeating a bunch of fish people and hearing an odd sound, you'll FINALLY get the chance, to have the opportunity, to attempt to fight the Black Dragon. Oh yeah, and Harle kind of disappears right around now.

     Did I mention after all this insane running around, the dragons themselves usually fall dead in a few turns? SHOULD A THIN MAN IN A FREAKING PITH HELMET HOLD MORE INNATE POWER THAN THE SIX DRAGON GODS WHO CONTROL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT?! According to Square, yes.

     With that much accomplished, you're free to enter that mysterious realm where nothing ever happens. After returning from Ohio, enter the Dead Sea for another series of SHOCKING REVELATIONS. After fighting a pointless boss fight with a floating head and hands, you can now enter...

CHRONOPOLIS!

Yeah, a baby Lavos is the final boss. SPOILERS!!!!1     Built by Lucca herself, as a last-ditch measure to save this game, this hi-tech time monitoring complex full of science and crap finally reveals the delicate link between CT and CC. Since it's apparently futuristic, you'll be wailed on by robots instead of fleshy things. Chronopolis successfully portray both kinds of cities typically seen in the future: Ones that look like shopping malls and ones that are in ruins. There are lots of urine-colored ghosts floating around, mumbling about secret programs. Oh, and did I mention Lavos is somehow stapled into the story? Yes, he's not dead in another dimension or something, which causes a giant computer called FATE to turn monkeys into humans using Lavos's radiation and eventually all means that Kid is a clone of fan favorite female at large, Schala. (Please don't give away the incredible secret ending of CHRONO CROSS.) Apparently, Serge's DNA is the key to unlocking the main control room of the place, which is why Lynx swapped bodies with him. Holy crap, that almost made sense. See, Serge somehow became an 'Arbiter', as in 'Arbitrary Hero With Hidden Power', and since you used the Dragon's Tear thingy to make him human again, you can enter the room and fight Serge! Lynx! Uh, whatever. Kid gets hurt again.

Burning the legacy of the heroes!

     Serge and the rest finish off Lynx/Dark Serge/FATE by [Junctioning] to GF [Doomtrain.] Kind of. Then all of the dragons wake up and merge into a huge monster called TimeDevourer. Somebody, possibly one of those recurring wise men, brings up that there is actually a hidden SEVENTH elemental power in that world, and Harle was the god of it the whole time! Tres wacky! Then a huge thing rises from the ocean, prompting a tiny alien to teach your rowboat to fly. Serge, Kid, Strung Out Hippie Doctor, Orhla, Korcha, Macha, Orcha, Pierre, Glenn, Razzly, Van, Riddel, Viper, Zappa, Mel, Guile, and a cast of millions bravely storm Terra Tower!! Despite the fact that the plot is all but resolved, and the villain is dead, the game boldly dares to stagger onward to the thrilling final sequence--

     ....Serge and pals chill on the beach, as the cast of Chrono Trigger yammer on. Then, everyone's at the bottom of the ocean fighting a very tiny TimeDevourer/Lavos. It has Schala trapped in its back! Quickly, Serge, the melody of life! The Chrono Cross is your only hope! Cast spells in some cockamamie order to release the deus ex machina and save the day. Or go ape and slaughter the both of them. Either way, the game ends. Either way, the game ending is reward enough. The good ending treats you to a few dozen more hours of talking.

     Now, get out of here, before time and space and public opinion blow me into a thousand sarcastic little pieces.

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     40+ characters was mind-blowing to me at one point. It still is considering this game was intended as a sequel to a game about a small tightly-knit band of time traveling heroes.

     I do realize compared to Suikoden, 40 characters is pretty tame. And the abritrary story branches that determine who you get or don't get aren't quite as random as Star Ocean: Second Story, where exiting a screen to the left instead of the bottom will change the entire course of the plot.