2011 YEARLY WRAP UP (System: Time)
2011 Cronos, God of Time (published by EIDOS)
The Short Version: The theme of this year was Magic vs. Technology and ‘selling out’ without profiting.
The Long Version:
Well, dear readers, it’s that time again. I waited until the proper end of the year to do my year in review just in case anything interesting happened last minute. It didn’t. Hooray. This has probably been one of the slower years for 3/2, in spite of finally putting my webcomic, Revolver Knight to rest. It feels good to have finished a long term project like that, though I overdid it a bit on the ‘taking a break to celebrate’ thing and took basically the rest of the year off to be a lazy ass and catch up on my gaming. On the up side, I have a much smaller pile of unfinished games than I used to, on the down side, I got a bit less done around here since I was mainly finishing off games I had already reviewed after playing enough of to get a ‘feel’ to report on.
If I had anything else to say about this year in gaming for me, this was when I finally ‘got’ the current generation’s appeal. Why yes, I have had my PS3 for over a year, and only recently ‘got’ it. While there have been plenty of games I played and liked recently, there weren’t too many that made me sit back and say, “Now THIS couldn’t possibly have been done on the Playstation 2,” but the Batman games proved me wrong and suckered me in hard. Not that I still don’t love my retro games, but I finally really appreciate the polish on the new stuff. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I bought myself an HD TV set after scraping little extra bits over the course of the year. It was almost a necessity as more and more games seem to set the on-screen text to “fucking microscopic.” Mass Effect 2 was kind of the turning point as they kept putting the dialogue wheel over lit tables or neon signs. Thanks, assholes!
So after way too long procrastinating, I fully intend to put at least one of my “coming soon” projects out next year. Dunno which one. I have a couple comics, a card game and maybe a simple overhead shooter game just to finally get my feet wet in that area. But I’ll do… something, on top of my job… and class… and whatever.
So without further ado, here’s 3/2’s look back at 2011! Hooray!
CAPCOM HATES YOU, STOPS PRETENDING
Something is greatly wrong with the world when we can go through a whole year without a new Mega Man game. I really don’t care that Mega Man Universe was cancelled, or who made or didn’t make the roster for Marvel vs Capcom3, but when they announced the cancellation of Mega Man Legends 3, I was legitimately pissed without comical hyperbole. I almost bought a 3DS for that alone, glad I held off. Not only did they announce a new installment after years of anticipation then squash it, they made a big production of making sure the fans were involved. There were design contests, votes on which sets of costumes were best, unveiling of new characters and footage of the prototype in action. Then they pulled the plug. When asked why, one of their execs tweeted that it was a lack of interest from the fans. FUCK. THAT.
It seems kind of weird to gripe about the lack of Mega Man after others have complained about there being far too many of them, that they’re all samey, yearly cash ins, and then when they take a break from it, complain about that. But even if installments in a sub series tend to be similar and let’s face it, Mega Man has more sub-series than many other game series have normal sequels, they tend to be GOOD games. They have a solid fan base. If Capcom is pulling the plug on the series because Keiji Inafune’s departure meant a drop in quality, then okay. But if they’re trying to smear White-Out all over the franchise for the sake of politics and so they can focus on more awkwardly cel-shaded fighters and Resident Evil spinoffs, screw ’em.
SOPA ON A ROP-A
Now for the reason you’re probably all here.
2011 THIRD HALF GRATUITOUS FAKE AWARDS SHOW
Fabulous Special Guests!
David Hasselhoff!
Charlie Sheen!
That Squeaky Voiced Comedienne!
And Introducing- Eishi Dennou and Dixie Sparks!!
Let’s get this ball rolling. As with prior years, this is based around games I played this year, not necessarily games that are from this year. Expect hilariously out of date entries, and to leave this article feeling as though you’ve wasted your time.
FURRY TOLERANCE AWARD OF DECENCY- SOLATOROBO (Nintendo DS)
In spite of being about talking animals fighting evil monsters who turn out to be humans, and boasting an encyclopedia section that includes such vital world building information as what kind of offspring a cat and dog fucking produce, as well as what a toilet for people with tails would look like, Sola to Robo was a game that was the first in a long while to bring back the simple kiddy joy games like Mario 2 or Kirby used to give me. Note that while I may not club fursuiters on sight any more, I don’t intend to start ‘yiffing’ either. Thin ice, oddball subculture. Thin ice.
HEY SORRY I’M LATE THIS IS ACTUALLY KIND OF AWESOME AWARD OF LATE TO THE PARTY- ARMORED CORE (series)
Yeah, yeah. Anyone who talks to me in person or online knows I got ridiculously into the Armored Core series long after it ceased to be relevant, and basically played the series in reverse order. I didn’t care much for AC2, the first one I bought at first, but have been picking at it now and then now that I’ve figured out the shocking secret that putting back mounted chain guns to look cool isn’t very tactically sound. Here’s hoping AC:V next year is a return to the more ‘grounded’ and distinct builds of say, AC3 instead of the turbo speed airborne combat from 4. Not to say 4 was bad, but it’s like comparing Gundam 08th MS Team to Gundam Wing, in that one is all about working within the constraints of generator output, heat, load restrictions, and so on; while the other has heavy biped missile carrier builds capable of perpetual flight thanks to magical SCIENCE! particles.
THE FUCK YOU SERIOUSLY OH GOD DAMN YOU AWARD FOR FUCK YOU (Dissidia 012, PSP)
I didn’t hate Dissidia or anything, but something about trying to do some of the harder battles awakened a fury in me that I haven’t experienced since… Hell, I don’t know. I lost sleep over it sometimes. At one point I was so ticked off that I had to hop in the car and drive around town post midnight a while to get my mind off it. I would grip the system so tight I would accidentally power off the PSP. So, good work or something.
BEST 2011 MOVIE I COULD BE ASSED TO SEE
Captain America. I probably wouldn’t have liked it if it was set in the present, honestly, but putting it in the middle of WWII and establishing the goofy costume as part of a BUY WAR BONDS touring song and dance routine made it into a pretty enjoyable watch. Never did get around to seeing X-Men or half a dozen other things I was kind of interested in seeing but didn’t have time for, but as someone who doesn’t see movies often, yeah. Captain America.
Dark of the Moon didn’t give me soul cancer like some critics might have you believe, but it wasn’t exactly a good movie either.
THE “I GET PAID TO SAY ‘FUCK’ ON THE INTERNET” AWARD FOR AWESOME WEB SHOW(s)
HALF IN THE BAG- Short and sweet movie talk from the makers of the near feature length Plinkett Reviews. Took me a while to warm up to them due to, well, as Plinkett himself put it, “People don’t like things that’re different.” I especially recommend the reviews of Jack&Jill, along with Transformers 3: Annie Hall.
HEART OF GAMING- This guy deserves some recognition. In a departure from review shows, “Leon Thomas” monologues about broad topics and trends in gaming rather than singling out a game to cuss at for a half hour followed by an Adobe AfterEffects-laden battle royale. Thoughtful, morose, and funny all at once. Check him out.
BEST PLASTIC CRACK- D-STYLE MODEL KITS
D-Style GaoGaiGar is an adorably fierce representation of my favorite of giant robots, and this particular kit even allows you to separate and transform him into his component vehicles. The D-Style Line also encompasses Patlabor, Gunbuster, Armored Core and more. Check ’em out if you’re a mech geek as well!
And finally the big one, since this is ostensibly a gaming site…
BEST GAME of 2011- BATMAN: ARKHAM CITY
Duh. It’s like the tone Animated Series with Burton aesthetics and a touch of Nolan grittiness. Guy Ritchie Cockney-style Penguin is still a bit of a what-the-fuck moment, though. So many characters are name dropped or appear, it’s almost easier to list villains who don’t show up. No matter what iteration of the Bat you’re a fan of, there’s something in here that’s going to appeal to you. Like getting to punch a shark, dangling thugs by the ankle off of rooftops to interrogate them, or listening to Mark Hammill cackle. IT’S THE GAME THAT GOTHAM DESERVES.
Thanks again for following me in 2011, look forward to another awesome year in 2012. No, more awesome!