I'd
actually been eyeballing these items for some time now, but didn't have
the money to blow on a cheap laugh. Sadly since then the 'good' ones
(the Jet Robo and Police Robo) were snatched up, but the important thing
here isn't the item itself, but the packaging. My previous test
subjects' packaging were disappointingly devoid of incoherent
text, aside from the slightly puzzling revelation that they were distributed
from Indiana (but still probably made in China.) So, without
further ado, I give you SUPERDUTY GADDER ROBOT.
Right off the bat, the thing
that grabs the eye about the package is the cry of SALVATION
IN ONE. There, as promised in the ancient Dead Sea Scrolls,
our savior will be formed when the 'Five robot transmutates into one.'
The Superduty Gadder Robot comes fully assembled in a plastic bubble
with a big open box around it, which is really pretty typical of Bootleg
Combiner packages. It does take the tension out of trying to ram together
the robot's parts without breaking something, which would be terrible
as upwards of 3 dollars may be riding on these type of investments.
At first blush he's actually not put together so bad. Then I realized
the only reason his legs could move was because they weren't screwed
on right. Being, let's be generous and say 'inspired' by Machine Robo
Rescue's Hyper Drill Robo, the idea is that one core robot hooks up
with his 4 identical drones to become Hyper ____ Robo. Fill in the blank
with whatever the robot turns into; the Go-Bot/Machine Robo people were
really fucking unimaginative.
The perplexing question besides
"Why doesn't Salvation in One look like the paintings at Church?,"
is of course, deciphering what a Superduty Gadder Robot is. See, in
the Machine Robo anime, Drill Robo was a comical macho-man. But a Japanese
one. That is to say, he flailed about, provoking others to smile and
ask him things like, "You sure are cheerful/healthy, Drill Robo!",
which is the the traditional Japanese way of asking someone ten times
your size if they're completely gay. So I believe that "Superduty"
refers to his thick armored hull, and "Gadder" denotes his
love of frolicking and gadding about.
This is the upper half of the box's back. The stat
web wisely picks a fair-to-middling number for 'craftsmanship.' This
either is a reflection of his knock-offness or his inability to assemble
arts and crafts with big-ass bulldozer claws for hands. He can apparently
perform a Stunt called the "Subula go into the offensive finger-flash"
though I'm curious as to how he gives someone the finger without...
fingers. He is a towering 8.5 meters, with a 'Ponderancy' of 9.4 tons.
I guess that must be a metric thing. The transformations are pretty
self explanatory, except transforming the main Subula/Gadder to robot
mode involved prying off the vehicle mode cockpit, and before that i
found out that the head comes off really easily. I don't think anything
really snapped off per se, but I somehow doubt that the back piece is
going back on too well considering about every other piece falls kinda
limp after being moved once. Also included are the four "Shoving
Glebe" robots that turn from robot mode into hunched-over robot
mode. What amounts to instructions for the set are the words "The
five mechanism to begin with change to robot, re change to the model."
Even that's a tad misleading since the Glebes snap onto the main body's
vehicle mode.
Oh yeah, and the paint/stickers are different (i.e;
ON) on the box. The legit version is also supposed to be full of diecast
metal, which probably gives someone a nostalgia hardon.
This is the most intriguing part of the box, though-
a crudely scrawled bit of copy warns "The pox is on the lines of
conceive arrive." A stern warning indeed, that combining the toy
could bring a plague upon us all. You'll be happy to know that I haven't
reassembled the sumbitch since I disassembled and transformed it. You
might call it paranoia, or maybe some warning about STD's getting stamped
on the wrong box at the bootleg toy and rubber factory, but at least
you won't be able to pin any swarms of mispainted locusts on me. Or
giant combining genital warts.
This is just a closeup of the stats, should one be
curious about the date on the lines of photography effect arrive. I
think that may translate to As Seen On Bootleg Hong Kong TV. Which they
call the Receiving Box and Imager. It's like a TV, but with sharper
edges and an uninsulated cord that doubles as an improvised cooking
device and rug-burner. They probably carry that at Odd Lots too, I must
have just missed it behind the novelty CD players that look like old-timey
radios and 15-dollar 'webcams.'
It's worth pointing out that they do
seem to be striving to replicate the Japanese MRR box art, by using
nearly the same back diagram (run through Babelfish for translation)
and logos. This last panel advertises the other Salvation In Ones, which
seems to imply false prophets or a need to define the word 'one.' In
addition to the Subula, the also have the Superduty Police and SPURT
robots.
HAHA Spurt. Spurt, spurt. (Jerkcity)
spurt.
The panel shows off the ability to swap
limbs between teams, giving Drill Robo the power of Spurt Flight (teehee)
or uh, the power of having motorcycles for arms and legs. The power
of instability? It claims that it can super-speed steam on the course,
so I'll just assume that he becomes a huge Rug Doctor. Meanwhile, the
Outs Streng Thening Pattern the Spurt drones offer allows him to "prosecute
salvation ploys on the air." Evidentally, Spurt Robo likes to out
false prophets on National Public Radio, then.
Now for the hands-on portion of the review.
As I said before, it's already assembled when you open it, so there's
no big surprises about the Hyper Mode. I had trouble standing it up
until I noticed I was supposed to fold the bottom parts of the legs
out more. The chest is sort of weird and concave under the cockpit plate,
so he's kind of lurchring forward a little. It does let you kind of
cross his arms though. The legs are bolted in loose so you can fake
moving them around a little. It's hard to say how well they're on there.
They attach via solid pegs in solid holes, so there's no locking mechanism
or anything to guarantee the one arm isn't going to get stuck in place
while the other flops around. Unfolding the main body robo mode is a
classic bootleg test of applying just enough excessive force to make
it do what it was meant to do without snapping something off and bringing
a pox on the pieces of conception. He has block arms, knees that bends
becaus they have to, and little toes. Oh yeah, and a rotating, easily-detached
head. The aforementioned cockpit/chestplate bit sort of folds upward,
at which point you can jimmy it loose to fold the shoulders back. You
can try to work it without pulling it off, but yeah, a pox
on the yadda, yadda spurting superduty subula gadder. The individual
drones pretty much just bend over double, flip the head down, and maneuver
the arms so they sort of look like pistons, or arms on the sides of
the bulldozer.
The combining system of the MRR line
is admittedly sort of fun to screw with. Besides being able to swap
limbs, the fact that each drone has an in and out point means that,
with enough of them, you can pull off crap like this.
Don't you love people who obsess over this stuff so you can sit back
and enjoy the results? (Like NES game speedrunners.)
This is the X in one.
-MANNA