Metal Slug 7 (NDS)
2008 SNK Playmore/Ignition
The Short Version: Hey look. It’s a new Metal Slug game. I wonder if you get to shoot droves of dopey looking soldiers, save hostages, then fight a gigantic contraption at the end of every level? It would sure be great if they could work some kind of a dating sim element in there too!
The Long Version: There’s an unspoken law about diminishing returns in sequels, or in normal speak, sequels that extend past a trilogy are almost always blowful, and get worse with each installment. Either the creators run out of ideas, or hire a completely new team who has no idea what they’re doing, but the fact remains the well is dry. The day Metal Slug 4 opened to half the cast being replaced, and the introduction of inner-earth mutants and sorcerers to the enemy line-up, it started a sinking feeling in my gut rivalled only by the third Synonym-For-Fire Man appeared in Mega Man, or the KOF NESTS Saga.
That brings us to Metal Slug 7, today’s subject. Not only is it seventh in a series of platforming games, it’s the first ‘real’ Metal Slug to skip the arcades and go straight to a portable. That’s a move you don’t even see shooting games make. And as if that wasn’t ominous enough, break out the fucking pipe organ, because it’s on the Nintendo DS, world renowned for adding useless touchscreens and overcomplicating things with a need to use both screens.
Well, at least they didn’t do that. Metal Slug games are hectic enough without pulling that Contra 4 shit. Actually, for the most part, Metal Slug 7 gets a lot of things right. You are indeed shooting dopey looking army men to death in various ways, and blow up bizarre war machines with gleefully rendered, debris-scattering explosions. You save hostages who give you whatever they have stashed in their boxers. The pieces are all there, and for the most part they work with more heart than the cold, mechanical, German precision of Metal Slug 4 or 5.
Maybe it’s just me, but 7 seems like one of the easier installments. I made it to stage 4 on my first try, instead of being stuck at some fucking cheap boss early in the game until I’ve memorized its attack patterns by rote. There were a few too many deaths that struck me as cheap rather than skill based- there’s a part in level 1 or 2 where it’s raining tanks for no readily apparent reason, which obscures the bullets of enemies around you. You’d think the enemy shots would stay in the foreground or something to make them more trackable, but that was just annoying. I tried Beginner Mode out too, but it’s hilariously easy- lose the tank? Have another! Please, we have hundreds. It is worth noting they limit continues in this game, which is a rarity in this day and age of level-up based, quick-evasion-roll-based action games.
This time out, having exhausted the possibilities of aliens, shamans, mummies, zombies, and robots, this time the enemy threat comes FROM THE FUTURE-URE-URE! After beating the Saddam Lookalike Guy at the end of Stage 1, a portal in time opens up and futuristic versions of his men appear to aid him, complete with upgraded versions of their classic tanks, and even little helmet antennas. Because they’re futuristic! That kind of six year old thinking is what made Metal Slug great.
Not having played all the home editions of the game, MS7’s also my first brush with the Combat School mode, which is some kind of ‘challenge’ mode where you do stupid things trying to impress your hot but apparently older-than-she-looks drill sergeant. Between the oddly fluid way her eyes are animated and the disjointed way she talks (Apparently you’re hitting on her but can’t see your own lines? Or is she just a schizo?) it feels like a really creepy yet incomplete hentai dating sim or something.
All in all, it’s a solid run and gun. It’s no Metal Slug 2 or 3, but then again more than half of the series has that hanging over its head. It’s kinda nice to see a DS edition of a classic series that doesn’t try to ‘mix things up’ a bit and squeeze some arbitrary use out of the touchscreen system, but at the same time it’s not bringing anything new to the table. If you’re a Metal Slug fan, strung out and jonesing for a portable fix, MS7 is definitel worth it assuming you don’t already have a PSP and Anthology. Then again the idea of playing Metal Slug with PSP controls is already making one of my eyes bulge.
