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7? Really, now?

7? Really, now? published on

The real thing is shiiiny.
The real thing is shiiiny.

Metal Slug 7 (NDS)
2008 SNK Playmore/Ignition

The Short Version: Hey look. It’s a new Metal Slug game. I wonder if you get to shoot droves of dopey looking soldiers, save hostages, then fight a gigantic contraption at the end of every level? It would sure be great if they could work some kind of a dating sim element in there too!

The Long Version:Continue reading 7? Really, now?

DSiren Song- DENIED

DSiren Song- DENIED published on

I have resisted the pull of the DSi and its many wonderful features for the time being, and shifted the pre-order money I put down toward more games for the DS I got. Now, I’m not going to get all sour grapes about it- the system sounds great to me, in particular I like the idea of a portable with downloadable content. “I’m bored and want a new game. Hey, there’s a McDonald’s with wifi! I can stuff my American ass with grease and beef and salt while I wait for a gutted Wario Ware app to download!” The cameras… Neat idea. Good for screwing around, but a little low res to go replacing my Kodak one. SD card support and enhanced multimedia? Well hot damn, it’s only about six times the mass of my mp3 player!! But, while I may (read: inevitably will) get one down the line, I’m opting out of it for now, for the following reasons…

  1. No GBA slot. Granted I rarely play GBA games these days, hell I barely get to play any of my portables extensively lately. I’ve got a working SP, and if all else fails, my girlfriend’s got a Lite too. But assuming I had taken advantage of Gamestop’s trade-in deal and hocked my DS Lite for one, not only would I have lost a better GBA than the GBA itself was, but that also eliminates the games with content unlocked by placing a GBA game in the bottom slot, like Mega Man ZX or Lunar Knights. Nintendo seems to ‘forget’ at least one thing per handheld generation, like no Advance link cables on the DS/Lite, or no headphone jack on the SP, and while slot sharing hardly GIMPS any of these games, it’s still kind of an annoying cut.
  2. Keeping my Lite for the above would have meant spending an extra 70 bucks on the thing and having at best something that makes my DS a neglected brick, or at worst, becomes a pricy, redundant, gimmicky brick itself.
  3. Region Lockouts and no flash cart support. Hell, according to Parish, it wouldnt even run officially-made review cartridges for 1up.
  4. There’s really nothing coming out that I specifically need it for- If some kickass new must-have game came out with camera functionality that isn’t just a cheap gimmick, sure, I’ll bite. I bought myself a PSP because omfg, portable Disgaea!
  5. When I was ‘on the fence’ about the system, a quick poll of my friends turned up many responses of “Why?” and almost as many “What’s the DSi?”
  6. I had Izuna 2 in sleep mode and powering off meant losing my gear and going back to the goddamn village.

And, as it turns out, I may end up having to put the money I saved into fixing another leak on my POStiac! HOORAY IT’S SUPER CHRISTMAS

They See Me Rollergamin’… They Hatin’

They See Me Rollergamin’… They Hatin’ published on 1 Comment on They See Me Rollergamin’… They Hatin’

Just to let you know, I’m still alive here, even though not updating in over a week kind of breaks down to a three month coma in INTERNET TIME.


Rollergames (NES)
1990 Konami

The Short Version: Unfun at any speed.

The Long Version: Continue reading They See Me Rollergamin’… They Hatin’

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