in the borderline euphoric state I find myself in after discovering
some new trivial distraction for myself (like kneaded erasers, the new
TransFormers [note: at the time of the article, I
was referring to Robots in Disguise, since the even more odious Armada
cartoon didn't exist yet -ed], and terrible foreign game
ROMs) I just had to have Galaxy Fight. Incidentally, this same default
hoarding action usually ends up defusing my interest in the subject.
Some reviews I've given up on in the past included Wai Wai World, a
Konami platformer about a guy in a stupid winged helmet with a K on
it, simply because Wai Wai World 2 just left me thinking, 'oh, why bother.'
The first game set off all the triggers most of my other articles- bad/weird
graphics, crappy gameplay, and probably most importantly, unclear goals.
I guess I just didn't want to bother, expecting the usual couple of
follow up emails reading something like:
just read your review of [game] and would like to point out
[plot information from the game I screwed up just filling in the
blanks left by not having the manual]. Besides that, it was hilarious.
By the way, there was [list of remakes and sequels, merchandise,
anyway, I grabbed Galaxy Fight. The opening animation wasn't exactly
inspired, but decent. In fact, I was basically okay with everything
until I finally started playing.
me predictable, but the first thing I do to test a fighting game is
the jump kick. If I don't like how that move handles, chances are I
won't like the rest of the game. Bear in mind I had it set on 'Easy'
for the test runs. I jump into the air, hit kick, it gets blocked and
the next thing I know I'm being kicked across the screen by a Rise of
the Robots reject. How humiliating. In a single sentence I've blurted
out my best tactic and admitted playing Rise. Might as well weld my
coffin shut by admitting I BOUGHT Rise of the Robots (on SNES, no less.)
game is probably the only game that accurately susbstitutes playing
against another real person. The computer blocks constantly, uses cheap
projectile attacks, and my personal favorite, beating you up about halfway
then dodging for the rest of the round. Just like a real player. This
wouldn't annoy me too much if it had more newfangled counters (like
WW7) and intuitive controls (yes, like WW7.) Unfortunately, this must
have been one of those 'early' fighters, since blocking while crouched
renders the fighter practically unkillable. Lacking the '1337 |V|/-\|)
S|<iLLz' or the patience to actually memorize the special attacks
I needed to win, I resorted to the time honored tradition of fighting
fire with fire. I became even cheaper. I can't even remember if I pressed
'forwards' once during the first match I ever won, but I got enough
throws in while blocking the twenty-hit combos the computer has no problem
pulling off to win by timeover.
don't play this game for the game, as you've probably guessed. It's
both a Neo Geo fighter and from Japan, so you're probably simply in
it to see whatever fool thing the characters say between matches. And
boy does this one deliver on all fronts. Whether you're looking for
the cute girl saying things that sound stupid, or the stupid muscle
guy saying cute things, Galaxy Fight has it all.
is an enormous mint-green lizard warrior. as you can see, he is a man
of profound wisdom with a silver tongue. He's yet another graduate of
the Slow But Strong School of Fighting Game Martial Arts. As such, I
can't tell his special attacks from his normal attacks, except he has
an interesting tendency to flash grey when he blocks attacks.
really is an attractive fellow, isn't he.
G. Done. Here's a great character type you don't see enough of: a trash-talking
black guy with a shady past. They should have made him a hidden character,
since he kicks way too much ass for just any player. I really like the
way the voice actor seems to have gone and done research on catchphrases,
whereas the people who wrote his text dialogue just did their usual
an example of the contrast: Voice bite: "School's out, sucka!"
Text box: "You're just a junk put together at a garage in the Empire,
eh? I'll take you apart with my bare hands right here and now!"
Evidentally, the guys in charge of the English version got ahead of
themselves and started into the Candian version.
is an incredibly small man from the cursed planet Rozalis. He's also
a cheap fighter, even for this game, who attacks with almost nothing
but projectiles. Now might be a good time to start repeating to yourself
through one of those robo-voice microphones, "Alvan Loses!"
play tip: If you somehow select Alvan, master of magic, reset your Neo
Geo system and load a better game.
Juri, skanky teleporting space pirate. I think she might have made a
cameo appearance in Those Who Hunt Elves; then again I said the same
thing about Damon Wayans. Interesting contradiction: She's totally obsessed
with her appearance, and yet she looks like... that. Don't count on
beating her unless you know how to block while mashing C until you get
look. It's Kazuma, the ninja. And he's fantastically cheap. He's also
not too bright, as evidenced by the picture at right. All of his before-fight
taunts consist of "(Mildly-insulting name calling or any other
random phrase)... Chop you into pieces!" I think he might be a
friend of Rolf's seeing as how they know each other's names and come
from planet Airass.
is a galactic hero who daringly sports a space suit with no helmet.
Notice the thick layers of padding and intricate system of manuevering
jets and hydraulics, meaning he's probably about 65 pounds underneath
all that systemry. I've also considered the possibility that he wears
a padded suit for his own protection.
is a miscellaneous mammalian kind of anthropomorphic thing. Beyond that
I, don't know if she's supposed to be a catgirl or a kangaroogirl. She's
got a great tackle/throw move that has her straddling the lucky guy
and pummeling the living daylights out of him. It's always a heartwarming
experience to see a cute girl splattering someone's blood all over the
arena. Did I mention her mammary traits? The game really emphasises
rhymes with Lucifer, is a homocidal cappucino machine escaped from the
robot factory from Rise of the Robots. He's actually even easier to
beat than Alvan, especially as Roomi. I should say something positive
about this walking ashtray, so here goes: His level's music sounds like
Legato's theme from Trigun. And that makes me all squishy inside.
suppose it's safe to say now, when most fighting series go into outer
space, they burn up on re-entry. Look at Street Fighter 2010, Punch-Out!
2, etc. As Galaxy Fight began in space, it would make sense that it
would be doomed to a short lifespan outside a cult following, like most
games in general. That isn't to say the whole game was awful. The graphics
were pretty nice, and the sound effects were pretty nicely done. I especially
like the voices of G. Done and Roomi. I like the blood treatment in
this one, too. Blood doesn't come out of the robot, for example, and
the characters for the most part only bleed on attacks that make sense,
like sword cuts.